Three Things
by e-clair 06
Summary: Harry has three things he wants to tell Hermione. Post DH, pre epilogue. Friendship only.


Disclaimer: I don't own this world or these characters.

Impossible as it may have seemed in light of all that had happened, things at the castle had finally quieted down. Many of the people who came just for the battle had left, other families had come soon after to take their children back home. Those who remained at Hogwarts seemed to spend much of their time alone or in small groups-mourning losses, processing the battle, and talking about the future. The change was for the better, Harry thought. He would much rather be by himself or with his best friends in peace and quiet.

Harry woke early to the first rays of sunshine streaming across his face. A year of constant vigilance and movement had made sleeping in somewhat of a challenge, and he didn't feel like staying in bed any longer anyway. Ron was still sound asleep in the bed next to him, and Harry knew he'd been up late with his family since they were heading back to the Burrow. Ron had decided to stay at Hogwarts a few more days and go back with Harry right before Fred's funeral. Harry noted the dried tear stains on Ron's still-pale face, and felt the familiar, painful wrench in his stomach. It was moments like these that made him almost wish he had stayed at King's Cross station with Dumbledore…but he knew he could never have actually made that choice.

Harry quietly dressed and slipped out of the dormitory. Hermione was curled up by the fire in the common room. It seemed as though she had been waiting for him, because but she looked up when Harry came into the room and raised herself onto one arm.

"Hullo, Harry. Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Nightmares, but I'm kinda used to that by now. You?" She shrugged. Her eyes were tired.

"Not really. I guess I'm okay though." Harry sat down on the floor near her.

"Want to talk about it?" She gave a half smile.

"Oh, it's just that every time I close my eyes I see you in Hagrid's arms and I hear Ron, Ginny, and everyone screaming…it makes going to sleep rather unpleasant." She choked back a sudden sob and continued. "Oh Harry. You have no idea. It was so horrible." Harry was silent a moment.

"I can imagine it," he replied. She raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He went on. "Because in my nightmares, it's you or Ron or Ginny who is dead at Voldemort's feet. And it is horrible enough when it's only a dream." Hermione put her face in her hands and Harry reached out to rub her back. They didn't say anything else.

But Harry didn't let the silence last too long. He had intended to make time to tell her what he'd wanted and needed to say ever since he went to Voldemort believing he'd never see her again. And Ron was sleeping, which was good, since it probably would make things a bit awkward if he were around. So he took his hand away and sat up.

"Want to go outside and take a walk?"

"I'd like that," she replied. They both got to their feet and made their way out of the castle.

They walked around slowly, taking in the sights and sounds of a place that had become so dearly familiar to both of them, a place full of memories, adventures, heartache, and laughter. They eventually found themselves under the tree by the lake, and they sat down in the still damp grass.

"Hermione?" Harry said after a few moments. She turned to face him. "I probably should have told you this a long time ago, but I guess I just assumed that you knew it and I didn't need to say anything." Hermione chuckled.

"Typical guy." Harry ignored her and went on.

"I don't think I realized how much I never actually said to you until I thought I might never see you again. So now I've just got to say it so that I know you know." He took a breath and looked out at the lake. Suddenly he found he was shy and couldn't bring himself to look in her eyes. She waited.

"There's three things. First, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't a better friend to you. I know I've been selfish for a long time. Part of it was being preoccupied with the quest and everything else, but that's really a lame excuse for the way I've treated you. I'm sorry that I didn't really take any time to listen to you and be there for you when things got rough. I'm sorry that I let it be about me all the time when you deserved just as much or more to be the one we focused on. And I'm sorry that I failed so often to acknowledge all the things you sacrificed to be with me. I'm sorry for taking you for granted." He stopped talking and lifted his eyes back to Hermione. Her eyes were welling up with tears but she closed her eyes and didn't let them fall. He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued.

"Will you forgive me?" He didn't need to ask, but he wanted to anyway. It seemed the only way to conclude his little speech.

"Of course," she whispered.

"Second, I want to thank you. Thank you for…everything. I can't even find a place to start. Thank you for your friendship and loyalty-it means the world to me to know that you're behind me and that you care about me so very much."

He caught the hint of a smile behind the tears that she had stopped trying to hold back, and he smiled shyly in return. There was one more thing he wanted to tell her, but it was so complicated to say it, especially now. He fell silent. She waited a minute, then nudged him with her elbow.

"Not to be pushy or anything," she said playfully, "but you said you had three things. That was only two. But no pressure. You've said more than I ever expected and I'm so thankful." Harry shifted his position on the grass so that it was easier to face her, and continued.

"Okay. I'll just say it, because I'll wish I had later. Just please don't take this the wrong way…I know you probably won't because I know you well enough and I know you know me well enough, but given the way things stand between the three of us…" He turned automatically towards the Gryffindor tower where Ron still lay asleep. Hermione saw his movement, and nodded as if to say she understood. "Anyway, I had to give that disclaimer to save my skin later. I mean this just as a friend, just as a brother-sister thing…nothing more."

"Go on already," Hermione teased. Harry looked straight at his friend.

"Third: I love you, Hermione." Hermione didn't say anything, but she didn't look away from him. Her eyes were bright and happy. Somehow they said everything, somehow Harry knew that saying all this had been exactly the right thing to do. Even if she knew it, she needed to actually hear it, and he only wished he'd told her sooner.

She wiped away the last traces of tears and smiled widely at him. As if on an impulse, she thrust herself into his arms. They hugged for a long time, and when she finally loosened her hold, he kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Best not mention this to Ron," he said lightly as he helped her again to her feet. "I think he might not quite understand. And a row with Ron is the last thing I need right now." She laughed and linked her arm in his as they walked back towards the castle.

"Don't worry. I won't. You having a row with Ron isn't exactly what I need right now either." He laughed. She spoke again a minute later.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"Love you too."


End file.
